Super Mario 3D All-Stars

After reading Half-Glass Gaming site-owner Josh’s article about the high level of anxiety he experienced while anticipating whether or not his pre-ordered physical copy of Super Mario 3D All-Stars would actually show up or not, I was made to believe that procuring a copy would be next to impossible. So you can only imagine how I feared for my mental state when my niece tasked me with getting her a copy of Super Mario 3D All-Stars. (Well, actually it was my brother on my niece’s behalf. At least, he said it was on her behalf…)

Anyway, when faced with the prospect of securing a copy, now one full day after launch, I felt a sense of nervousness myself. After all, any Nintendo fan will tell you that even one hour can make or break your chances of acquiring such an item.

The picture Josh so eloquently painted made me half expect I would ultimately end up on the docks around midnight, procuring a copy of the Narntendo Swatch’s Super Mary 1D All-Starts and thanking my lucky stars I made out with that much. I mean, a quick search of online reseller sites like Mercari already has scalpers asking for $25 more than the retail price, on average. So I could only imagine the demeaning, soul-sucking hoops I would have to jump through in order to procure a copy.

Well, let me tell you what happened. I apologize if this horror story is too gruesome, but it must be told.

Super Mario 3D All-Stars

I logged onto, did a search for Super Mario 3D All-Stars, and crossed my fingers that the website wouldn’t just divert me to the Merriam-Webster definition of idiot with my picture next to it. Thankfully, it linked me right to the product page.


Next, I clicked on the item and added it to my cart for pick-up at a store about three miles away from my place of residence, half expecting to be rerouted to a self-help hotline for morons. Instead, it brought me to the cart.

Okay, but surely once I proceed to to checkout, I will instead have my phone overheat and explode in the palm of my hand from the sheer hubris of even assuming I would be able to purchase this game. I mean, Josh had pre-ordered his and was living in constant fear that his purchase would in all likelihood eventually be denied. I mean, this is a much-coveted Nintendo game, ladies, germs, and nondescripts.

But alas, there I was, nervously sweating and shaking — and also, for some reason, swearing incoherently as my thumb hovered over the purchase link. Surely, I thought, confirming this purchase will cause the hammer to strike, and this farcical production — the facsimile of a play called my life — will come to an unceremoniously lampooned demise. I took the gamble and pressed the confirmation button only to…

Receive a confirmation email that my purchase was successful and to expect a follow-up email notifying me when I could pick up my copy of Super Mario 3D All-Stars.


Oh, of course, I see now. This is when I would get a follow-up email telling me how foolish I was to have even ventured to assume I would be able to purchase this game. The email would also self-destruct and signal my banishment from the internet at large. I would be forced to live destitute under a bridge for the rest of my miserable life. Nuns would spit on me and children would pray to God that they not end up like me.

Except… the email didn’t do that. It just told me to come pick up my game. Which I did. And now here I sit, with my very own physical copy after exerting all of 25 minutes worth of effort.

Hmm… I guess Josh was worried for nothing.

Super Mario 3D All-Stars
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