Marvel's Spider-Man

I somehow got through all of Marvel’s Spider-Man without actually reading a single piece of in-game signage. What’s really funny about this is that I actually used to work for a company that sold commercial signage, so you’d think I’d pay extra-close attention to signs in video games. Then again, maybe three years of trying to sell signs to businesses has desensitized me to them so completely that my brain doesn’t even register that they’re there anymore.

Anyway, once I completed the main story in Marvel’s Spider-Man, I immediately started up The Heist (which is the first piece of the game’s City That Never Sleeps DLC story). I was so relieved that I’d made it past the game’s dystopian third act (which has snipers on rooftops and jetpack-wearing super-soldiers roaming the streets) that I figured I’d just swing around the city and look at stuff for a while.

And I have to tell you, there are some interesting signs in fake Manhattan. Check out the image at the top of this article to see what I mean. You’ve got an electric ad for the hit movie The Man with the Dark Past next to a billboard for a donut shop called Frosted Halos. Once I discovered that pairing, I decided to see what other lovely signs I could find around town.

So if you want to fill your eyeholes with even more commercial signage, I’ve got quite the collection now.

First, let’s check out some more movie posters. Here’s one for First and Last Day.

Marvel's Spider-Man

Now, as someone who’s actually helped design fake movie posters, this one is pretty weak. You’ve got the Fast and the Furious font treatment going on, but this looks like a completely different type of movie. Where are the cars? Why would you visually call back to something that you’re not actually referencing?

Covert & Classified looks like the most generic spy thriller ever.

Marvel's Spider-Man

And there’s absolutely no way that a movie called Kate and Kevin would be anything but terrible.

Marvel's Spider-Man

Now we get into Broadway plays, and The Reign of Dasher actually looks kind of cool.

Marvel's Spider-Man

The person in the promo art, who I assume is the titular Dasher, has a real Joffrey Baratheon vibe going on. Pure evil, that Dasher. Pure evil.

Kristopher Campbell’s Wolf & Sheep is a Tuney Award winner, so you should probably go see that while you have the chance.

Marvel's Spider-Man

The Daily Bugle gave four stars to Claire Dinklebottom’s The Woes of London, which I imagine is maybe a mix between Les Misérables and Oliver.

Marvel's Spider-Man

I have to say, that’s some top-tier naming right there. Claire Dinklebottom, I mean; not The Woes of London.

Now, I actually really dig these band flyers.

Marvel's Spider-Man

Henrietta and the Monkeyhead is probably some sort of heavy indie rock with a lot of synthesizers. Broflakes, Gunnz vs. Hammer, and Breakfast of Shredders is a full night of the most awful jock metal you’ve ever heard, so be there at 8 p.m. when those doors open to make sure you get in. I Wanna Be a Pirate is a terrible band name, but CrossBones & MoreBones is maybe worse. At least they put together a nice pirate-themed night of music at Scurvy Jake’s Tavern (where the drinks are overpriced but the scurvy is on the house). No fake IDs needed, either because this show is all ages.

And then there’s the real cream of the crop:

Marvel's Spider-Man

Are you ready for the Nordic death metal stylings of Goblin Menace? I don’t think I am.

I did manage to find a couple more of these. There’s the dad-rock band Urban Dissent:

Marvel's Spider-Man

And the low-budget synth pop group Future Music:

Marvel's Spider-Man

Moving past music, we’ve got several ads for SwillCo soda.

Marvel's Spider-Man

Game Informer suggested that SwillCo might be a reference to FizzCo, the soda from Sunset Overdrive. Remember, Marvel’s Spider-Man and Sunset Overdrive were both made by Insomniac Games.

This banner makes me want pizza, so I guess it’s doing its job:

Marvel's Spider-Man

Then again, it’s not difficult to make me want pizza. All you have to do is remind me that it exists, and bam! Instant craving. And this banner certainly reminds me that pizza exists. I’ll also point out that this is the same brand of pizza that Spider-Man orders during the events of The Heist.

I really dig the vinyl banners for the museum’s dinosaur exhibit. Dinosaurs are cool by default, though.

Marvel's Spider-Man

So now let’s take a tour of some local businesses. There are plenty to discover, such as Under the Stairs. Why is it called that? Because it is literally under the stairs.

Marvel's Spider-Man

Don’t you think the Helix Mobile logo is a little on the nose?

Marvel's Spider-Man

The Whole Caboodle Mart was unfortunately not open, so I couldn’t browse their wares.

The name makes me think it’s a convenience store, or a mini grocery store, while the font choices just scream campus book store.

I really like the logo for Sushi Murakami. Do you think that’s a reference to the Japanese author Haruki Murakami? He’d be a weird person to reference in a Spider-Man game, I suppose, but it’s also not impossible.

Marvel's Spider-Man

Dad’s Barber was founded in 1987. If that’s a reference to something, it’s lost on me.

Marvel's Spider-Man

The there’s Social News Collective.

Marvel's Spider-Man

Any guesses as to what this might be? My gut says its a propaganda factory that specializes in spreading disinformation on social media.

I don’t know. These signs are alright, I guess. I’d give Marvel’s Spider-Man’s signage game a six out of ten, maybe. Grand Theft Auto this ain’t. Though if you want to pick up a copy of GTA, you can stop by Gamer Paradise. I’m super they’ve got a used copy you could purchase for five dollars less than the new-game price.

Marvel's Spider-Man
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