My Sims Are Better at Playing The Sims 4 Than I Am

The Sims 4 - Tess Macchiato

Being a Sim is kind of a rough gig. Not only are you likely to be a victim of some psychopath player who only installs the game to torment Sims (there are whole guides for playing The Sims 4 this way), but you’re also prone to over-the-top mood swings that can alter the course of your life in some serious ways.

Take Tess Macchiato as an example. Tess is a Sim I created for my Sims 4 world. And yes, of course she’s good friends with Mayday Moonflutter. Why wouldn’t she be? (That’s actually important later on, I promise.)

The Sims 4 - Tess and Mayday

Anyway, Tess was originally going to commit real hard to the barista career (which is why I named her Tess Macchiato), but we (she and I) discovered that a vlogging career is far more lucrative. Very quickly, she gained enough of a following that she could quit making coffee for good to become a full-time Internet celebrity.

But she eventually got kind of bored with making videos all the time. (Or, I should say, I got bored with it — I get so involved in Sims drama that I oftentimes lose track of where my whims end and those of my Sims begin.) So she went on a career adventure, hitting the clubs as a trained pianist for a while. But that got a little boring too, and since her celebrity status was getting pretty intense, her phone was ringing off the hook with fresh job offers. We took the next call that we got, which was an offer to be a fitness trainer.

Unfortunately, Tess got into a fight with a rival mascot on live TV. She became an Internet sensation (which was great for her vlogging career), but she also got fired. And Sims get really bummed out when they get fired.

So Tess was wallowing in her sorrow when Mayday Moonflutter showed up. If you know anything about Ms. Moonflutter, it’s that she craves romantic attention all the time. And so instead of consoling our dear friend Tess, she decided to make out with someone else in front of her. And because the two of them had been flirty, Tess was devastated. She went into the deepest depression that I’ve ever seen in a Sims game. She was so sad that I was no longer able to control her for several in-game hours.

And this is when I learned that Tess Macchiato is better at the Sims than I am.

The first thing she did? She got a new job with a detective agency. Immediately after that, she put on this amazing dress:

The Sims 4 - Tess in her new dress

I have no idea where it came from. It’s not in her outfit selection, and I’m actually not even sure I’ve ever seen it before (it might have something to do with the Detective career, actually). But she put that on and got busy programming while sobbing uncontrollably. Yeah, she’s learning programming now, I guess.

The real kicker, though, is that somehow (apparently while she was on her laptop in between programming sessions), she had made an investment. I never even noticed that this happened until I saw a payment of $18,000 show up in her bank account.

Despite her fits of tears, Tess was living her best life, and it was a life I had no control over. So I guess maybe I should just let Tess be Tess. She didn’t need Mayday Moonflutter, and she certainly doesn’t need me. I’m going to miss her, for sure, but I know she’ll be better off without my guidance.

And I have to admit, I’m proud of her.

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