Assassin's Creed Valhalla

In Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, if you find yourself in the village of Donacaestre in Eurvicscire, you’ll almost certainly run into a fellow who calls himself Berk the Bard. He’s not much of a Bard, and I have my doubts as to whether Berk is even his real name.

All Berk wants is some silver, for which he’ll write you a song. It’s quite expensive though, costing you 295 silver. It’s worth the cost because paying off Berk is the only way to complete the Art-Scop mystery. However, the song Berk creates for you is worth nowhere near that price. Berk sucks, as you can hear for yourself in the video below.

This is no earworm. In fact, it will make you want to stick worms in your ears to deafen yourself from this atrocious sound. Eivor offers this critique: “Your kennings are weak. However, you make up for it with your clever tongue.” That’s a lot more generous than I would have been (and Eivor seems to have more tolerance for bards than Ezio ever did).

Apparently you can steal some of your silver back from Berk the Jerk, but I didn’t figure that out until it was too late.

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