In Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, it’s easy to forget that there’s a modern-world subplot going on in the background. With the exception of a few short sequences (and, of course, the Animus anomalies), the game spends an overwhelming majority of its time following Eivor’s adventure’s in Ninth-Century Europe (where the bards aren’t great and the fish are gigantic).
But when Layla does take a step outside the Animus, we see that she’s chilling in a cabin in the middle of absolute nowhere. It seems so relaxing.
I spent most of 2020 in quarantine. I live in an apartment in a big-ish city, which means it’s difficult to get out of my home to do anything. I don’t have a lot of space, and I don’t have my own yard. Most of the places I would normally go are either closed or have limited indoor capacity. So I’ve basically been stuck in a small apartment for nine months. It’s been great for playing a ton of video games, but it’s been kind of crap for doing pretty much anything else.
So I fantasize about having a place to actually hang out and isolate where I can breathe the fresh air and maybe go on a hike. Perhaps catch a (regular-sized) fish and grill it up for dinner, or grow my own vegetables. I could read books out in the sunlight and maybe even go for a swim now and again.
The cabin in Assassin’s Creed Valhalla has everything I would need. It’s a safe place to isolate during COVID-19 (which is actually confirmed in the game).
Layla can check her email, which implies that they have Internet. The Animus works, so we’re not actually talking about primitive technology here — this is a pretty futuristic setup.
While the cabin only has one room, it does have a private bathroom.
Hold up. If this were the trailer for a 1990s comedy film, this is where you would hear a record scratch sound effect.
That’s the bathroom? If I were to have to go peepee or poopoo, I’d have to do it in this smelly, uncomfortable little outhouse? If I had to go in the middle of the night, I’d have to put on shoes and fend off bears and bugs to get to this pitch-dark stinkhouse?
Let’s call this whole thing off. I’m perfectly fine in my apartment, where I can order grocery delivery and play video games until my eyes bleed. And use an actual bathroom.
So I’m good, thanks.
